Tommy was diagnosed with a wheat allergy at 7 months old, and an egg allergy at 8 months.
What on earth am I supposed to cook for him?
And what’s going to happen when he starts school lunches?
I knew food allergies were on the rise. But until you’re raising a child with one, you don’t realize how much there is to learn (and feel).
So today I’m sharing what I’ve found matters most when living with a food-allergic kid, plus a few mistakes I’ve made along the way.
Grocery Shopping: Read the Label. Every. Single. Time.
If you buy packaged food, check the ingredient list on every purchase.
Even with the same brand, recipes and production lines can change. “He ate it before and was fine” doesn’t mean it’s safe today. If your child has a severe allergy, be extra careful with anything labeled “new and improved.”
Tommy’s all-time favorite treat is nama choco daifuku, a soft, chewy rice cake filled with silky chocolate cream. Lots of shops sell them, and quite a few contain egg.
One day, at a sweets chain we hadn’t visited in a while, I spotted one and squealed. ❤️ We’d bought this exact treat there many times, so I didn’t even glance at the label.
Then came the allergic reaction.
Whyyyy?!
I scrambled to read the ingredients, and there it was: egg. The recipe had been updated.
It was 100% my fault for not checking. But honestly? It felt like a trap. Lesson learned: check every time, no exceptions.
Eating Out: Ask How It’s Cooked, Not Just What’s In It
More and more restaurants are willing to accommodate allergies these days, which is wonderful. But telling them the allergen isn’t enough. If you can, ask how the food is prepared, too.
Sadly, awareness of cross-contamination still isn’t widespread, and sometimes the safest choice is to skip a dish altogether.
Here are a few of our “learning experiences”:
The yakitori restaurant. I watched the cook make the sauce-glazed skewers, and every one of them (thigh, chicken-and-scallion, meatball) got dunked into the same pot of tare glaze. The meatballs have egg in them, so the glaze was out. We walked away.
The teppanyaki restaurant. They prepared Tommy’s food without his allergens. He reacted anyway. When you think about it, that same griddle handles wheat and egg all day, and nobody scrubs it down between orders.
The ice cream shop. Every flavor had allergen labeling, which was so reassuring! I picked only safe flavors, and still, another reaction. The culprit? The scoop. It just gets rinsed in a little well of water. If the customer before us ordered something with cookie pieces… well, you can guess.
It’s starting to feel like a mystery game, haha. It all seems obvious in hindsight, but honestly, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.
Eating Out: A Few Handy Tips
Whether or not your child can have seasonings and condiments makes a huge difference in the quality of the meal they end up with. Many kids with a wheat allergy can eat them just fine.
Tommy is fine with soy sauce, ponzu (citrus soy sauce), mentsuyu (noodle dipping sauce), ketchup, and Japanese-style Worcestershire sauce. If I only say “wheat allergy,” the kitchen defaults to plain, unseasoned food, or maybe a sprinkle of salt. That makes for a pretty sad meal, and it’s such a waste!
Also, family restaurant chains have gotten really good at handling allergies. They often use individually packaged ingredients cooked separately, so the risk of cross-contact is lower, and you can pull up detailed ingredient information right away.
Travel is where food worries pile up. Our family rule is: if we can’t find a good restaurant, we go to a family-style chain. Whenever we travel, I now automatically locate the nearest chain restaurant and drugstore.
And for enjoying local food on the road, our go-to is the highway rest stop. Japanese rest stops are basically mini food courts, and every counter serves something completely different. That means everyone gets to order what they want: the rest of us can dig into the regional specialty while Tommy has sushi. Everybody’s happy, and nobody has to miss out.
How Do You Explain “You Can’t Eat That” to a Little Kid?
When Tommy was small, he had no concept of allergies, so I taught him one item at a time: “This makes your body feel sick.”
With wheat and egg allergies, nearly every tempting store-bought snack is off-limits. When he was about to give in to temptation, I once said, “If you eat that, you could die.”
I know, I know. That’s a big no-no according to the parenting books. But in the moment, I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
For the record, the recommended approach is to teach concrete actions instead:
- “If you know you can’t eat it, don’t eat it.”
- “If you’re not sure, ask a grown-up first.”
- “If a friend gives you a snack, don’t eat it. Bring it home.”
Emergencies Are Even Harder
During a disaster, your usual foods may not be available. You may not be able to check ingredients. Even evacuation shelters can run short on allergy-safe food. If you want to be prepared, you have to do it yourself.
We have an emergency bag packed and plenty of water stored. But the typical emergency food is canned crackers and kanpan (hardtack biscuits), and Tommy can’t eat either.
So what do we do?
Here’s our emergency stash: lots of cornflakes and Choco Crispy, a rice-based chocolate cereal. (It’s been hard to find at regular supermarkets lately, though.) He eats these for breakfast and snacks anyway, so we use the “rolling stock” method: every time we open one box, we buy another. Taking a cue from that, I’ve also stocked fruit granola for the rest of the family. It’s nutritious, keeps well, and tastes great. Total win.
We also keep plenty of canned tuna, corn, and whole peeled tomatoes. You can eat them straight from the can, they work in everyday cooking, and they’re easy to rotate.
That wraps up life at home! Next, I’ll share our experiences with preschool, daycare, and elementary school.
See you next time!
