Yesterday was Tommy’s aikido belt test.
He’s been training for almost six months now. But I never go inside the dojo during class, so I honestly had no idea how much he’d picked up.
He still can’t tie his own gi or belt, so his sensei helps him get dressed. I seriously wondered whether he’d even be able to get through a test…
The whole idea of martial arts started when I learned that more and more developmental support programs (ryoiku in Japan) are bringing in karate and boxing. We first visited a karate class, but Tommy got scared, so we backed off. While I was figuring out what to do next, he showed some interest in the aikido class held at the same dojo. So I took a leap and signed him up.
What martial arts can offer
Martial arts and combat sports are generally said to offer benefits like these for kids in developmental support programs:
- Core strength and balance: Many movements require the whole body to work together, which builds body control.
- Emotional regulation: Burning off energy may help reduce irritability and impulsive behavior.
- Focus: Kids have to pay close attention to split-second movements, and to their partner, which is great attention practice.
On the flip side, there are concerns about increased aggression and risk of injury.
Honestly, the aggression worry is exactly what kept me from trying it for so long. Tommy already has a tendency to lash out physically. Add martial arts to that, and wouldn’t he become even harder to handle?
What the research says (and why I take it with a grain of salt)
Researchers have looked at whether martial arts increase aggression, and the findings are mixed. Some studies say it can, others say it actually helps. Either way, I’ve heard that when martial arts are used as part of a support program, instructors stress following the rules and not caring about winning.
The same goes for the benefits. One study found that a martial arts group improved in focus and emotional control. Another found that focus seemed to improve, but the effect on emotional control was unclear. It’s hard to know how much weight to give any of it.
Personally, I think it’s a stretch to judge the value of an extracurricular activity by numbers and studies at all. Every child is different, every family is different, every dojo is different, and even what counts as an “effect” is different. If I’m being honest, my take is: “It’s probably decent focus practice, but who really knows?”
Why it clicked for Tommy
Whatever the research says, now that we’ve actually started, I can see that repeating set forms is a great fit for my son’s Neurodevelopmental Traits.
Team sports demand coordination with others and the ability to adapt on the fly, which is still a big hurdle for Tommy. Aikido, on the other hand, lets him focus on his own body and the form in front of him. Learning by repeating the same movements has suited him beautifully.
The predictability of each class helps too. Every session follows the same flow: greet the dojo, do this first, then this, then this, and finally bow again to close. Because the whole schedule is laid out the same way every time, he can join in without feeling lost.
As a parent, I’m also really grateful that the dojo takes etiquette so seriously.
Test day
And then, at the test, he showed me something I never expected. My worries and all those research findings just blew away.
The test took two and a half hours from start to finish. And Tommy managed to sit on the mat the entire time, waiting until everyone had been tested.
Of course, he wiggled and curled up here and there. But he never shouted or made a scene, and he never wandered off, not once. That alone deserves a standing ovation.
What really surprised me was that when his name was called, he answered clearly.
Since Tommy is at the lowest rank, the forms are simple: basic rolls and falls (ukemi), and walking on his knees (shikko). It’s truly the basics of the basics. But for Tommy, those are incredibly hard.
And yet he took the test just like everyone else (all of them preschoolers), and he got through every movement without a single mistake.
Maybe it’s just something he’d have grown into with time anyway. But honestly, I don’t care either way.
What matters is this: something he couldn’t do before, he can do when it’s aikido. That’s everything.
And above all, Tommy looks forward to his weekly class so much. The fact that he enjoys going is the most important thing.
I hope he keeps enjoying aikido, one step at a time, at his own pace.